You never forget your first love. You can get over them, stop having feelings for them... But there's always going to be that little part of you that always holds on to them, that quietly hopes that things will go back to how they were. But sometimes it makes you feel so shitty... You just want to cry.
There's a nostalgia surrounding that person, so many memories that live in your heart, and you sometimes wonder if you're ever going to look at them and not straight away have that little bit of heartache, that sudden and split-second longing. When I think back to my ex, or I talk to her, I am able to seperate the emotions I used to have for her... but not always straight away. Sometimes, literally for a second, I almost fall in love with her again.
In a way, when it happens to me, I feel almost unfaithful to my current girlfriend. I am in love with her, there is no doubt about that, she is everything that I have ever searched for. Even if she is "damaged", even if she does fuck up more than the average joe. She is mine, and I am hers, and I am hers, and she is mine. And that is how it is, how it should be, how it will be.
I don't remember the original intention of this post. Not properly. C'est la vie.
I suppose I should probably get off of the computer and go love my girlfriend in the way she deserves, the way I try to every single day. If you're reading this, darling, I love you.
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